CHAPTER 21 - AN HOUR WITH MY GRANDSON LEO – AGE 1 ½

I am waiting for a regular visit from Leo, my grandson. I am always excited to spend time with him and when I hear the sound of his parents’ car pulling up in my driveway the adrenalin is running down my legs and filling my boots with anticipation.

I walk to the gate to see Leo raising his arms from his seat which is his way of letting me know that he knows he is at his grandparents’ home.

Leo is lifted out of his car seat and walks towards my gate, hand in hand with his parents and runs to me when he sees me. We enter the kitchen, Leo looks around, immediately knows where he is and begins to point, which is what young children do before they have learned talk.

Leo makes his usual sounds of ‘uh uh’ and points to the door leading to the sitting room, followed as he always is, by my dog Freida who is as excited as I am.

Leo’s pseudo-language is pointing. He points to the things he knows so well in the room, the same routine since he first came to my house when he was one, which is now instinctive. He has a shine in his eyes as he points to the prepared kindergarten space, and sees the carpet spread with wooden toys, books, trucks, cars, and lots of toys that he recognises. His attention is centred on the one he first wishes to hold that day.

After a short time with his chosen toy in the prepared space, Leo looks around and continues to point to the things he knows, and this time he points towards the rocking horse. I lift him onto the horse’s back and give him a gentle rock, which he loves, but he is already pointing to the next thing he wants to visit, the piano, so we walk together, and I sit him on the piano stool, open the lid and expose the keys, which Leo immediately presses, copying me as I tinkle the soft keys which he then copies, but with an occasional thump thump!

Then, which I instinctively expect, he wants to explore my sitting room again and pick up the things he walked past but knows what’s there as he continues to look around pointing to many other things he knows, this time to my army dress cap. I take down the cap and his eyes shine as I place it on his head, but that is short lived because he can remember that it is too big, as it is each time, I put it on his head. He allows me to respond to his pointing to his head, so I put the cap on him and it covers his eyes, again, and he looks at me, peeping under the peak for more of the usual pathways to follow and sees my guitar.

We walk towards it, he twangs the strings and looks up at me with twinkling eyes. I pick up the guitar and sing him a song, which makes his eyes twinkle again. He knew I would do that because I always do. I give him a ‘blinking-eyes kiss’ and he copies me. I then wink at him, and he tries to copy but at that age it is impossible. Leo continues to blink-kiss!

Throughout these few minutes, effectively the re-introduction to his grandparents’ house, his eyes focus on me, and I hold him and give him loving re-assurance. I never ask Leo what he wants because he knows what he wants and that pointing, not speaking, conveys his desires probably more sweetly than early language would. If I did ask Leo a question it would indicate that I think he is able to discern and understand so I always allow his pointing and ‘ug ugs’ to lead me and I know that I will not say no to any of his pointing signals, because he knows where he wants to go next. I try always not to ask Leo what he wants!

I am relaxed as his grandfather as I look into his eyes and respond to the next thing he is pointing to, this time towards the kitchen. I give him a drink. When satisfied he is on his way again this time towards the French doors and points to the garden. I open the door and hold his little hand and walk outside holding him gently. Leo is as excited to be with the dog and Freida’s quickly wagging tail indicates that she is also as pleased and leads us into the garden.

We walk into the garden and Leo begins to point, this time at the tractor and he points and points, the language of a one-year-old, and points again signalling his desire to sit on the tractor and play with the steering wheel. I lift him onto the tractor, and he imitates what his parents do when confronted by a wheel, and begins to make the sounds of brrrr brrr and turn the wheel back and forth. As quickly as we got on the tractor, he signals for me to lift him off and I instinctively know it is because he doesn’t want me to start that loud thing!

He sees the marquee in the garden and runs towards it finding a way in and sees a yacht that I am restoring. He points and I lift him into the yacht. Leo smiles and looks into my eyes full of wonder and ‘ur ur ur’s’. I lift him out of the boat, and we walk into the garden again as he points and points toward the pond.

We stand at the fence, and Leo points to the tub of fish food and I feed the fish, but Leo really wants to as well, so he tries to throw the fish food that I have put in his tiny hand, into the pond, but his throwing hand spreads it on the grass. As the fish hear the plop of the food they begin to rise and feed to Leo’s great delight. He knows they will, and he is mesmerised as he sees them all swimming in eager anticipation of feed time. Leo always is.

Leo runs across the garden satisfied that he has spent time with the things he knows and now wants to run to see his parents who are in the house. We enter the house and he calmly sits beside his parents and my time is done. He is very happy, and I am blissfully happy, and Leo begins to pick up a book and indicate that the pictures inspire him to show me by pointing, an indication that he knows every one of them because he has been picking up those books regularly for a long time.

Leo’s time with me has been calm and happy and we continue with our time together, with very little pointing. I know that that is more than enough. There is no engagement in electronics and no music playing except the guitar I am playing pretending to be good, but knowing I am at the bottom of the ladder for guitar playing skill!

Every time Leo is brought to my home Sarah, and I carry out the same routines and rhythm as I have written about, which is the foundations of his young life in an environment he feels safe in, and that is a mirror of what his parents have at his own home. It is a magical time and an important rhythm to keep up whenever he visits my home.

Leo is growing up in a traditional way and it is my strong feeling that he is building the foundations of his life with the strong rhythm I have created for him and that he enjoys, obvious through the shine of his eyes, the blink-kisses and his feeling that he has chosen what he wants to do, as a strong developmental key to building his WILL.

Today Leo said ‘mumma’ and ‘dadda’ as he saw a photograph of their wedding on my wall!